La Vie Secrèt de Tubzey

It’s past midway through 2025, and I’ve been surviving like everyone else in the chaos of life.

My only commuter was held hostage for over a month by the most lousy and incapable bunch of mechanics. Every time I dropped my car off for them to fix a new problem they created, they’d fix it, but add another new problem for me to experience.

My heart was shooketh (as people say). I received two cards from the tall, lanky, and feminine guy asking me for a second chance. Would I give it to him and risk getting my heart broken and hurt again? I decided to accept his proposal of being his again and committing to fighting for our relationship so we could feed pigeons together as a geriatric couple.

It was a rough start to the year, but I had a mini trip to NYC, visiting friends and relatives. It was a wondrous experience seeing NYC in a gloom of beautiful snow. I felt the cinematic effect, and immediately fell in love despite the city’s puddles and pollution stench. This same night, my relationship took a bad turn with the tall, lanky, and feminine man, and I almost ended the relationship because he hurt my heart. I still stayed.

RACC reached out to me for help in fostering a ginormous Anatolian Shepherd puppy for a few days. Those few days felt like hell. All the shredded pissed on puppy pads and feces caking the crate pan made my home smell and feel like a dusty barn. I found out afterwards that this puppy had parvovirus. My dog Bazil got really sick for several days after the puppy left. I also got sick. It was hell.

One of my best friends got married, and I participated in the bachelorette and wedding. It was a heartwarming wedding, but a stressful bachelorette. I did not get along with the bridal party mainly because of some incompetence and manipulation they were pulling. Aside from that, I am so grateful for the bride and one of my best friends being there with me.

The tall and lanky man and I attended Project Glow together. He tried his best to prepare me for the event, but I failed in every way. My clothes and shoes were no help from blisters, aches, pain, rain and mud. My feet were in so much pain that I left the first day of Glow crying out of pain and heartache. I also let down my partner. The next day was better, but the tall and lanky man grew distant from me. Our relationship was in shambles, but neither of us was admitting it.

I write this in sadness and heartache. I made the decision to part ways with the tall, lanky, and feminine man. I decided to stop torturing him with my anxiety attacks and projections from my insecurities. I know jealousy and doubt can be a normal part of relationships, but I let it possess my heart and mind, creating a chasm so devastating between me and the man. He also spoke hurtfully to me, which made my anxiety and doubt worse. It was no one’s fault really. We had a poor start to our relationship, and we stayed incompatible for each other month after month. Despite it all, I am remembering him with so much love. I am grieving for the love I have for him and all the loving and beautiful memories we had and almost had.

As of today, I am still crying. I know that I will survive and fight through this life with Bazil. It may be exhausting, but I have faith in God. I know He will paint the most beautiful story of my life and heal my broken heart.